jubilate deo

gratitude project, day 2

most wednesday evenings, you'll find me singing to god. which may sound weird from someone who eschews religion. 

'god' is a tricky word. organized religion makes the word and the idea of god heavy with dogma, rules, shoulds. 

but my direct experience of god is of pure freedom. pure love. everywhere. at all times. in all people. that is what i know of god. 

so on wednesdays, i gather with 100 other voices of god to sing ancient music to god, in honor of god. and god, do we sound good! 

gratitude is good

gratitude project, day 1

each night, the very last thing i do before turning out the lights is review my day and name five things for which i am grateful. it is a practice that has shown me that, even in low times, there are so many things, sometimes small things, and people and animals and nature, that i treasure in my life. 

so with the inspiration from famed mainemomma shutter sister kristen, i'm adding my gratitude images to flickr's gratitude project.

because expressing my gratitude, well, makes me feel good. and grateful. for this life.

a fact of beauty

about 90% of the time, i am not photogenic. even my friends will attest to that. some people are, some people aren't. i'm not. and i accept that, since there's really nothing i can do about it. it's like having blue eyes or being tall ... genetics, traits, facts. i have other gifts, but photogenicity is not one of them. 

this photo, however, does not have me cringing when i look at it, at myself, the way many photos of me do. the high angle is better for my round face, reducing some of the roundness. the lighting isn't great but the blues are pretty. 

but this photo is about waaaay more than colors and angles. 

the juice is in my eyes, behind my eyes. my whole self, my inner self, my soul and spirit Self is right there. i am present. i am grounded. i am in my body. there are so many ways of describing this state of being.

ten years ago, i had no idea what this meant, being "in my body." i thought i WAS my body. 

years of study, and evolved friends and teachers, and spiritual experiences, and oh so much work and practice have all helped me to not only understand this concept, but to actually feel when i'm in my body and when i'm not.

some people have a much easier time being and staying grounded/present/in-their-bodies. often those with past trauma or super sensitive nervous systems have a harder time. i find that people who work with their hands are often more grounded than "intellectuals." and surprise, surprise, i'm one of those folks who has to work at getting out of my head, being present and staying in my body. 

i like this self-portrait because i can see my Self, my soul, shining through my eyes, my clothes, radiating. i see me, the real me, not the outer me, not the photogenic or not-photogenic me.

i really see me. and i find myself beautiful. because spirit IS beautiful. fact.

and i'm learning how to say it, to state it. without the outer getting in the way. without my head getting in the way.

i. am. beautiful.

for the love of a machine

for so long now, i've had a love/hate relationship with my computer.

and digital photography means that i am tethered to my machine. 

i have to sit my ass in a chair in a room in my house in order to complete my photographic vision.

no more standing in a dark room with a red light, often with other people, swaying to music, watching my visions come alive. 

nope. here i sit. alone. when all i want is to be out, with people, moving and seeing and living. connecting.

and while i have participated in many online classes, and have had a blog now for a couple years, and even met and had an amazing experience with the first ever people to whom i wrote after reading their blog ... 

still, the people in my computer seemed so far away. little links that appeared as "handles" were mostly just that, little letters on my screen with an underline.

i never really thought about the actual people who are on the other side of those underlines, those funny names. until now. 

 

link = whole human being.

link = potential friend.

link = possible soul sister.

and computer = connection. 

(kind of like the telephone, but i can "call" people i haven't actually met yet.)

maybe the younger set has known this all along.

but i just realized this at camp when i actually got to meet the living ladies behind the links. and saw how connected people were with their "online" friends, before they ever met in real life. 

and i realized, my computer is my passport to the world. and to friends. to love. 

 

 

you are beautiful

 myriam

"you are beautiful!" myriam exclaimed as i walked into camp registration. who me? she can't be talking to me. we proceeded to have a transformative conversation that night: beauty is about letting ones inner light *shine* through. it is not about what's on the outside, the physical ... it's all about what's on the inside. i know this t-h-e-o-r-e-t-i-c-a-l-l-y but, ohhhhhh, i could see the storm brewing. so THIS is my secret reason why i came to camp.

i've known for many years that i am not my body and that i (and everyone and everything) am soul, spirit. i had my spiritual awakening the night my mom passed 9 years ago. 

but it's a whole other thing to really grok ... not when i look at others, but when i look at myself. many/most/all? of us are so hard on ourselves and so loving with others. we see their inner beauty. we see their hopes and dreams and tenderness. but when i look in the mirror, i see chubby cheeks, small eyes, thin lips, extra pounds, and on and on. and i hear my mom's unknowing words of many years ago jangling around in my head ... "i wouldn't consider you beautiful, but you're interesting-looking."

what i so needed -- and didn't even know i needed -- i got from myriam the first night of camp, so naturally, so very effortlessly: you. are. beautiful. 

the minute our hosts tracey, myriam and jen started talking, i knew this experience was going to be about so much more than the technicalities of photography: intentions, secret wishes, poetry, permission, passion, sharing, seeing and being seen, gratitude. and beauty.

before reading several soulful poems out loud to the group, myriam mentioned "this is especially for hillary" more than once. she could see that i really needed to get this. i know this poem well, but i obviously needed to hear it again, and apply it to myself: 

 

Love After Love by Derek Walcott

The time will come 
when, with elation 
you will greet yourself arriving 
at your own door, in your own mirror 
and each will smile at the other's welcome, 

and say, sit here. Eat. 
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart 
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you 

all your life, whom you ignored 
for another, who knows you by heart. 
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf, 

the photographs, the desperate notes, 
peel your own image from the mirror. 
Sit. Feast on your life.

~~

 

when i looked at every single one of my fellow shutter sisters at camp, i could so clearly see their beauty:

wendy 

siobhan ria


stef

when i asked tracey the first night which class i should take, "composition" or "self-portraits," she blurted, "you? self-portraits." 

my comfort zone stared me down. i knew i had to do this, to go toward the scariest thing.

fortunately i was in safe hands. taught by the lovely meredith, i learned that making self-portraits is not the height of narcissism as i had thought in the past (this judgment a sure sign i was really just scared of it). now i know it's quite the opposite, in fact. making self-portraits is a high act of self care, self love. of really seeing my inner self and honoring that. of seeing my truth, my story, not other people's stories about myself. about seeing my inner beauty. ohhhh. 

self-portraitohhhh. so THAT'S why i came to camp.

to learn that i, too, am beautiful.

the sisterhood: a homecoming

i kept stepping into scenes with my heart melting, melting, melting at the sights i was beholding. on the beach. in the lodge. up at kiln. at the bonfire. upon each entrance, a shock quivered through my system, powered with the realization: i am not alone anymore. a whole community of sisters actually exists!! women who LOVE photography as much as i do. real, live, in the flesh, shutter sisters.

and these women share. share their knowledge, their tips, their special sauce ... technical advice yes, and so much more. their dreams and fears. their truth. the generosity of spirit shocked my system, too. the openness and vulnerability and depth were not what i expected from photo camp. 

we talked a lot about "story" at camp. here is mine: i've been a photographer since high school. my teacher was a man. i went to journalism school and all my photography instructors were men. i was one of very few women photojournalists working in the uber-competitive world of photojournalism in which no one shared their ideas for fear of someone stealing them. because people did steal ideas. literally.

pinups covered the walls in the newspaper photo labs where i worked. the guys returned from football games and printed up pictures they'd taken of cheerleaders' breasts and butts and tacked them above their desks. 

i photographed fires and car crashes and gang warfare and dead bodies. there was no one to talk to about how i felt. 

it took me a long time after my photojournalism career to even understand what shutter sisters was all about. my perspective was so ingrained by all i had learned and seen in my previous world of photography. i didn't get the "shooting from the heart" thing, photographing as expression of tender feelings and family life. sun flare, starbursts and out-of-focus were serious no-nos in all my training. i'd check in on the shuttersisters site every once in awhile, and leave thinking, "this is not the place for me." 

until i was far enough and long enough away from all that i had learned before. i needed a cooling off period of unlearning what was no longer necessary, a melting of all that hardness which was imperative to survive in that world. 

over time, i found myself on the shutter sisters site more and more. learning so much from the archives. seeing what other women were seeing and sharing. joining in on the "one word" and "daily click" projects. commenting on posts. writing a guest post. i even eventually found myself playing with sun flare, starbursts, and out-of-focus! and loving it, i mean, down to my core LOVEing it. cherishing the place where i finally know, i belong. that the shuttersisters site exists in the world is like sailing in the middle of the ocean but knowing there is land. somewhere that is safe. somewhere that is welcoming. somewhere that is home.

 

so to have my journey take me into the actual arms of tracey and all the contributing shutter sisters, and into the arms of women who love photography as much as i do, to have ALL THAT? i had no idea how much i had suffered, and how much i needed this. need this. i am no longer sailing. i am anchored. i am home. and i am so incredibly grateful.

the last morning at camp, the dining hall man took my ticket and wanted to direct me to the tables reserved for our group. "are you a shutter sister?" he asked. yes. yes i am.

 

 

wowed.

sitting in the dining hall for breakfast the first morning at squam, i met a woman.

she: where are you from?

me: california.

she: what do you do?

me: i'm a photographer.

she: oh, i know of a great photographer out west somewhere. i follow her blog. can't remember her name. but her photographs are amazing. 

another friend at the table: was it eyechai?

she: YES! eyechai! that's it!

me: wow.

turns out that she, the hilarious and loving patricia hurley, is also amazing. patricia writes over at michelle shopped.

me: wow. wow. wow.

all i want to do ...

since returning from art camp at squam, all i want to do is make art. 

and yet, a huge question is before me: is making art ENOUGH? does making art really MATTER?

so i'm putting the question out to you, yes YOU! 

would you be wiling to send in your stories about how making art matters? see the new makingARTmatters page for more details. 

i am so grateful already for your stories, and i know that i and many others will read and reread them as reminders that YES! ART MATTERS! 

squam-time

i've been preoccupied all summer with a huge project which i can't write about here. but the project is starting to wrap up and i just HAVE to share my recent trip to squam. ah squam. others say it's a weird-sounding word. to me, that one little five-letter word conjures up all that i crave: stunning natural beauty, a real sense of history and place, creativity with kindred souls, and lots and lots of love ... 

the dreamy lake ... 

the beauty of birch trees which we don't have on the west coast ... 

the festively decorated deephaven dining hall ...

 

my sweet home away from home ... 


and then there's the art. making art. clear. easy. beautiful. serene. open. time. and space. in which to create. SUCH A GIFT!

my mixed media piece which the ultra-lovely and ultra-talented sarah ahearn taught me how to make ...

nothing but time spent in the company of old and new soul sisters ...

dr. sarah ... 

lovely, talented AND photogenic sarah ahearn ... 

sweet soul jen ... 

whimsical eileen ... 

another sweet and talented soul diana ... 

and then there's the high priestess herself, elizabeth -- whom i like to call bethie and she calls me bunny (granted, she calls everyone 'bunny') -- who, thank god, created the whole etheric thing that is squam art workshops ...

in her inimitable way, elizabeth's parting gift on our last morning hushed the dining hall -- as we were all excitedly saying our goodbyes and trading contact into -- by reading us part of john o'donohue's "a morning offering."

may my mind come alive today
to the invisible geography
that invites me to new frontiers
to break the dead shell of yesterdays
to risk being disturbed and changed

may I have the courage today
to live the life that I would love
to postpone my dream no longer
but do at last what I came here for
and waste my heart on fear no more.

and then just as quickly as i entered into this space ... snap! the party was over.

we went our separate, but squam-connected, ways ... 

i took it all home with me, in a little pocket inside my heart. the woods. the women. creativity. time.

these few soul-nourishing days -- this time -- may be past, but they remain, completely mine ...

and i recall a lingering feeling. to remember: just be ...

my very first photography student says ...

I am extremely fortunate for having the opportunity to work with Hillary as my photography coach and mentor. It had been at least 20 years since I had taken a photography lesson so I was starting from the beginning. Hillary's lesson plans were very well thought out, well organized and were catered to fit my camera, my interests, my timeline and my learning pace. I really enjoyed how each lesson was divided into the technical and visual/creative aspects of photography. She was very patient in helping me learn how to use my camera and how to read my manual! I told Hillary in the beginning of our lessons that I wanted to be able to show in my photographs how I view one of those fleeting moments in life, or a beautiful landscape. Through her encouragement, enthusiasm, patience and very talented teaching skills, I am now able to do this and I am so excited every time I take a photograph and it shows my vision! I am still learning and practicing, but because of the lessons I have had so far, I feel that there is a lot of potential for me and my photography. Hillary is an extremely talented photographer and a true artist. She sees so much depth in an image and brings life and emotion to these images. She is also technically strong in the elements of photography. Not every amazing photographer can teach photography. But Hillary is one of those people who also possesses the talent of knowing how to teach others...with patience, kindness, heart, and encouragement. As she continues to pass along her knowledge to others who have a passion for photography, she is passing on a gift of enabling each of us to show everyone how we each uniquely view this incredible world and the people we encounter. I am eternally grateful for her passing on this gift to me and I look forward to many more photography coaching sessions with her! Thank you Hillary!

megalicious

it is this kind, patient soul that i owe the becoming of eyechai.

she helped me start when i was too intimidated to begin by myself.

steadfast. smart. practical. problem-solver. everything that my dreamer-self needed.

and when the time was right, she rekindled her own true passion, teaching and tutoring, and left eyechai to venture on her own path. by then, i could stand on my own two feet. 

meg. my dear college friend. for over 30 years now. 

she came to see my studio, to oooh and aaah and be happy for me. 

dear meg, thank you for helping my dreams come true. 

(and for being my most willing photographic subject for 30 years!)

a studio of my very own ...

in a matter of weeks, my studio went from this to this:

it is soooooooo beautiful and turned out a million times better than i expected. 

i'm not sure i've ever worked as hard in such a short time, or been as stressed as i was that last week. 

thing is, i signed the lease just three weeks before the bi-annual open studios and badly wanted to be open for the occasion. needed to paint, hang lighting, edit and process photos, print, paint the wood boards, mount the photos, and print flyers. the day before open studios, i moved in. brought in furniture, hung the photos, put up signage, etc, etc, etc. 

so many glitches, and yet so many more things went unimaginably smoothly. people kept showing up at just the right time to help. one of my oldest friends and a brand new friend (met her the week before) gave so much of their time, talent and energy to help pull this thing together. it would have been absolutely impossible without all the help i received.

it seems that the universe is saying to me, clearly and loudly: YES! and helping me along my way. all week, i kept saying "thank you" right back when things were easy and flowing smoothly, and i said it a lot.

many friends came out to show their support:

and my very first sale was to young lauren who bought a small ttv piece for her mom for mother's day:

here are some more views of my little 13' x 16' space:



and my signs outside my doors turned out awesome! (designed them myself, i just love to design.)

we're open again this weekend, so if you're in the area, come on by!

ICB building, 450 gate five road, sausalito.

saturday 11- 4:30, sunday 11-12.

it's gonna be awesome!

 

tracey clark's motto is: "it's gonna be awesome."

and it was!!!

day two of tracey's workshop, held at teahouse studios, started with a photo walk. i focused on my fellow classmates sharon ...

and julia ...

and even a little boy in the park ... 

then some color in the park ... 

and of course, flowers ... 

yesterday i practiced shooting ttv (through the viewfinder) with a vintage camera in the studio. decided to bring in my dad's rolleiflex today, though i was sure it wouldn't work because there's a focusing circle and gridlines on the glass. tracey encouraged me, "just try it!" and so i did, with pretty cool results. i am definitely NOT going to clean that glass!

in the afternoon, tracey taught us how to make sun flares!

here's one of stef ...

and one of tracey ... 

she is awesome!

an uplifting, inspiring weekend, full of passion for photography and lovely, lovely women.

so. much. fun.

let go. relax.

the day after one of the roughest weeks i've had in years and losing rocky boy ... i headed to a week at the ranch.

rancho la puerta, that is. those of us who've been there before, we just call it "the ranch." a health spa. a treat to myself for my 50th BD. worth every penny.

one full week of pure bliss. the grounds, gardens, facilities, food, and setting about as gorgeous and tasteful as could possibly be, with a rustic mexican sensibility. at the base of a sacred mountain. where everyone hikes starting at 6:30am, to kick off the day with golden boulders, fresh air, and meandering conversations with new friends.

i needed that week. i needed that 9am stretch class every day. i needed to walk along the garden paths. i needed that mountain. i needed those 8pm massages right before bed (!).

the first few days were about letting go, especially in the quiet moments. letting go of that last week with rocky, letting go of the to-do lists in my head, letting go of old ideas of how life should be.

the rest of the week was simply about moving my body in the mornings and relaxing in the afternoons. relaxing, as in falling asleep in the lounge chair by the pool. and sitting in the stone jacuzzi at sunset and watching the water spray dance in the light. 

i hadn't been that relaxed in YEARS. my system needed it. my heart needed it. and i am so grateful to have been able to go. 

* highly recommended *

monday memories / the sporting life: dancing for my supper

i'm sharing some of my sporting life with you in this monday memories series. last week's story was about playing on the men's lacrosse team in college ... 

so after college came grad school and career. not much time for sports. 

several years into my job at the long beach press-telegram, i went to australia to visit my cousin who was studying trees there, and planned a trip to the great barrier reef. i figured this is the one time i'm going to australia, i'm going diving there.

reserved a place at a fancy -- and i mean FANCY -- resort in the barrier reef called hayman island. hadn't been on vacation for many years. it was time to treat myself. but the week before i left, i realized this resort would be filled with honeymooners, not the best place to travel solo. there was another option close by, but i was equally hesitant for opposite reasons. club med. i figured it'd be filled with drunk 20-year-olds. hmmm. honeymooners or drunk 20-year-olds??? i opted for club med. and it was not at all what i expected.

this club med was a "family club," on a stunning island inside the barrier reef, with sports GALORE, and i could do them all! (i remember being so grateful to my parents for helping me learn to do any and all sports, even though neither of them were at all athletic.) and the partying was relatively tame. i kept pushing back my departure date, leaving me less and less time with my cousin. i was having a blast. so many sports! and one handsome man.

my last day there, i asked, "how can i work here?" ... they said they might be needing a tennis teacher ... and a few months later, i was teaching tennis at club med lindeman island.

and how did i swing that?! hah! 

first i needed to learn how to teach tennis! i had played a lot as a youngster, tennis camp at 14, all that. but hadn't played in years. i found renowned and hilarious teacher vic braden at his orange county tennis academy. christmas vacation tennis clinic for tennis pros. somehow i talked my way into the course. 

at work, my boss was on vacation. for a week, my colleagues helped me switch schedules so i could work the 7am shift and leave a little early to race down to tennis class. i learned how to teach well enough for teaching beginners. got a 6-month leave of absence from work. and WOOHOO! became the junior tennis instructor at club med!

i can hardly believe it myself. and have no photos to prove it (just this one doing my daily shift in the tennis & golf shack). but i loved it. i still wasn't a great player, so whenever i wanted to play tennis for fun, i played on the most remote court so the guests wouldn't see me playing ... didn't want them to lose their confidence in me!

but club med was about so much more than tennis. the staff or GOs (gentils organisateurs) not only act as hosts for the guests (gentils membres) during the day, but the GOs also perform in the elaborate shows at night. that's just part of the gig of working there. dancing for room and board and a teeny tiny stipend. 

whaaaaaaat? who me? dance? 

(remember, i was a total tomboy growing up and didn't do sissy stuff like dance.) 

yessirree bob. at club med, i danced. kinda caught the performing bug, you might say.

first week, they had me do an easy gig, not too far outside of my comfort zone. we 4 american staff members dressed up like red white and blue dorks, it must have been the 4th of july.

then a few months later, they had me doing a show. a show. a show? way outside my comfort zone. we rehearsed from 11-12 at night after the nightly entertainment was over and the guests had dispersed. i had to get up at 6am to be at the golf shack. those were short nights at club med.

i was fit enough to dance, but not very graceful. and scared! found it quite challenging to remember all the choreography. but also i found, like team sports, that when i relaxed and got into the flow with my fellow dancers, my body seemed to remember and i could feel my stagemates and move with them. THAT is what i love about team sports and dance, too. being completely in the moment and FEELING with all senses completely open and on, and flowing with the group, making something magical happen.

but i seriously needed more rehearsal. the first show, i forgot my gloves in one number. that's me in the back, facing the wrong way.

facing the wrong way again.

and was pretty much facing the wrong direction most of the time those first few shows. after my very first performance on stage, my boss noted,

hillary, don't forget to smile! you looked petrified up there!

over time, my confidence grew a bit. encouraged to enter the costume contest with a guest, i entered as marilyn monroe with guest dean martin. my partner was a fabulous dancer and spun me around. we won!

so then i volunteered with my roommate cynthia and another gal to do a lip sync to diana ross and the supremes. i was really getting into the performing thing now ...

at the very end of my stint at club med, the sports team had to perform a crazy skit before dinner in which all of us ended up in the pool. i squeezed into a tiny leotard, totally embarrassed by my outfit but that was THE OUTFIT for the role and the costume department wasn't going to change it ... and the show must go on!

back at home, i returned to being behind the camera. watching others. not the one being watched. where it is comfortable.

to be honest, i do miss the stage! and i miss dancing. who'd have thunk it?!

~~~~~

lessons learned: while i LOVE LOVE LOVE doing photography, i think it's also healthy for me to be in front of the camera. shining out. hey universe, how can i have both in my life?

~~~~~

ps - the handsome man didn't speak to me when i returned to the island. men! that's ok. there were other fish in the coral sea.

including this one, that i let get away. 

i really liked him. kind. nice mixture of humble and confident. handsome. we shared a champagne sunset on the 8th hole of the golf course one evening. 

when i got home from club med, he wanted to fly me up to vancouver to see him. 

i chickened out and didn't go. 

if anyone knows this man, who was living in vancouver bc in the 1990s, please contact me! or forward this to the one that got away.

photoflow: sharing is fun!

so i've been working toward sharing my photography in an etsy shop, and recently have spent much time browsing around etsy photography. i'm looking for a way to jazz * snazz up my pictures. for some reason, all of a sudden they seem boring and bland and plain. so i'm learning how to use textures to make my pictures look old * interesting * layered * rich.  and i'm also looking on etsy for different ways to present my photographs.

and then i found this: 

LOVE gayle's work, and LOVE her presentation: photos mounted on wood blocks.

it just so happens that i had already bought some wood blocks and canvas blocks, and had started trying different techniques for mounting photographs onto them.

promptly i left gayle a message singing the praises of her work. i asked if she'd share her technique for mounting. didn't hear back. 

must admit i was quite disappointed. you see, i LOVE sharing! i don't think artists need to keep secrets from each other, because inevitably, everyone sees and works differently, uniquely ... even if they use the same technique. but not all artists feels that way. and not everyone wants to share their techniques and methods which may have taken them years to learn. it's understandable, i guess. it's just fear. still, i prefer to think of everyone as an ally instead of the competition. which isn't always easy. but which definitely is my highest self in action.

i also said i'd buy a piece from her. and so i did. and in purchasing her photograph on etsy, i wrote this: 

i promised i'd purchase a piece from you so here i am. it will be a treat to have your art in my home.

i'm frequently on the shuttersisters site where so much sharing of information happens ... which is what prompted me to ask you about your mounting process. i hope my asking didn't make you uncomfortable in any way.

keep up the beautiful work!

all the best,

your fan,

hillary

a few days later, the mail came and i received this gorgeous piece from gayle:

and this:

wow! thrilled! to the moon! yippee skippee! jumping for joy! happy dance all around!

not only do i now have a beautiful piece of art. and another method for mounting photos on wood blocks: 3M 77 SPRAY MOUNT. (i've been using gel medium as a glue, applied with a brush, which seems to work fine) ...

but i also have SHARED WITH A FELLOW ARTIST/PHOTOGRAPHER.

i shared my money with her. she shared her arwork with me. she shared a technique with me. and now i've shared our techniques with you. woot!

thank you gayle, for sharing with me!

q: what did you learn on the internet today, honey? 

a: sharing is fun! 

friday night reality check

friday nights can be brutal for us single folks. 

i can see someone at the grocery store on a cell phone, and it looks like he's talking to his mate at home, asking her what she wants him to bring home for dinner ... a picture of domestic bliss.

and then in my head, i go into a whole story about how EVERYONE in the whole world is paired up, like noah's ark, two by two. and i am solo. and i must be somehow defective because i am alone. and i will ALWAYS be alone. no one will EVER love me. and i will NEVER have anyone to love. and on and on into a total headspin. brutal.

and it's not true. not one word of it.

the only things that are true are: i saw a guy on the phone at the grocery store. and i'm alone TONIGHT. 

it's not the easiest thing to NOT believe our own thoughts. they seem so real. but thoughts are thoughts, made up in the mind. they are not reality. reality is that i'm sitting here typing in my office. that's it. 

tonight, friday night, i only went partially down headspin road before i made a quick u-turn. i'm going to snuggle up with daisey and count my blessings: warm home, good food, safe and sound. amen.

walk gently

pink sky at night: sailor's (and my) delight! 

thanks goodness for my little furry friend daisey. she stops me in my busydom with her pleading eyes, tail wagging, is it time? can we go now? ok ok ok already, feeling guilty. too many hours have passed. yesterday i was in bed with a fever and she didn't get out at all. so today i promised her, and myself, some nice leisurely walks.

i launched our afternoon walk toward the much-needed pharmacy, combining leisure with errand. not always the best combination. 

and on our way back, flu-meds in hand, i finally got present. as in, i saw what was before my eyes. 

it was this pink sky in all it's daintiness and subtle beauty, gentle february hues. 

walk gently. see lightly, speak softly. of magnificence.