photoflow: lens love

using the 50mm/1.4 ... at f/1.6

well well well. it has been about a year since my photography took a huge lunge forward. and it is all because of two marvelous creatures: the 50mm/f1.4 lens and the 50mm/f2.5 compact macro lens. yes it is. 

using the 50mm/1.4 lens ... at f/2.0

i knew i was missing something in my photographs. something in the way i was able -- or more precisely, not able -- to translate what i was seeing into tangible results. 

using the 50mm compact macro ... at f/2.5i saw it in other photographs. a serene beauty in having all but the  smallest piece of the image softly out of focus. shapes. colors. hints of information. dreaminess. 

so last october, i bought the 50mm/f1.4. then in june, i bought the 50mm/f2.5 compact macro.

you see, i used to be a photojournalist, and the pictures i made were all about spreading information. not that photojournalists' photos aren't artistic, they certainly can be. but the widest aperture i used as a photojournalist was f2.8. 

aperture (also known as f-stop) controls depth of field. as in, how much of the photograph is in focus. the smaller the aperture number, the less depth of field ... the less depth of focus. this shallow depth of field allows whatever is in front of or behind the focus-point to become dreamily out of focus. this brings our eye right to the focus-point, while seeing the rest of the image as softer shapes and colors. 

using the 50mm compact macro lens ... at f/2.5

having put photography aside for many, many years, i returned with fresh perspective, less of a photojournalist's hat on.

using the 50mm/1.4 lens ... at f/1.8

and thanks to two very talented photographers, i found the two lenses that i now use almost exclusively: 

50mm/f1.4

via heidi swanson's 101cookbooks, i discovered the 50/1.4. she displays the most dreamy food (and travel!) photography and beautifully written stories to go with each photo. heidi's recipe index of natural, whole foods keeps it real and healthy, just the way i like it. thank you, heidi, for leading me in the right direction both food-wise and photography-wise. and for sharing your photo tips. 

50mm/f2.5 compact macro

via tracey clark's personal site and the fantabulous shutter sisters she started, i found the compact macro. i knew i wanted a macro, and was leaving soon on a trip. i didn't even research the purchase. i saw that tracey used it, so figured it was good enough for me! and i love it. thank you tracey, for being such an inspiration, for your e-classes, for shutter sisters, for your generous ideas, words and images. 

using the 50mm/1.4 lens ... at f/1.4

The photograph itself doesn't interest me.  I want only to capture a minute part of reality. 

         ~Henri Cartier Bresson­

she came. she conquered. she went.

dona. bella dona.

photographer. mother. lover.

artist. philosopher. poet.

warrior. worker. chef. 

the dusty white van with new mexico plates pulled up, cowboy boots spilling onto the sidewalk. she's heeeeee-er! 

set up booth. eat. sleep. set up booth some more. coffee. talk. charm. flirt. sell. eat. drink. sleep.

more coffee. more flirting. more selling. more eating and drinking. take down booth. bathe. eat. drink. sleep. 

drive for two days ... home. rest. repeat. 

the life of an artist is NOT EASY! 

i remember when, years ago, dona told me she couldn't NOT do photography. she HAS TO. to me, she is a real artist, the real macoy. she just has to express herself in this medium, and share her vision with the world. and she works like a dog -- fortunately at the thing she loves most -- so she can send her son to private school, has for 10 years.  

dona was here for the mill valley art festival this weekend. showed her stunning photography, mostly horses and nudes. each piece printed in her dreamy style, b/w, sepiatoned and/or hand colored. and framed by hand! each unique piece receives a unique frame -- either an old window or an antique frame, fixed up then distressed or painted then distressed some more. people love her frames as much as they love her photography. so much work goes into them. many artfest-goers took home an original dona piece. the festival was a success!

last month i was in santa fe helping dona set up/break down her booth for the huge annual indian market. she needs extra help these days. you see, her partner of 10 years passed over in january. he was her rock, and now he is gone. the grief process is hard enough without having to heft tents and panels and giant framed pictures and tables and all, preparing for a show. or maybe the grief process is easier, physical work releasing energy that needs to move in order to go on. either way, it's too hard to do it all on her own. (and time does heal the heart. she's balancing better these days.)

ruminating around her artful space, i made pictures of the things i saw. some are her photographs, some are photographs of her, some are photographs of others’ she has hanging around. 

as you can probably tell, i love this woman, this friend of mine. we have knows each other since our florida days ... she was working as a photo lab tech at the palm beach post where i had my second internship as a photojournalist. we hit it off. instant friends forever. soul sisters.

she was an emerging photographer and i helped her get her first photography job at the newspaper where my roommate was the photo editor, the palm beach daily news. and she was off and running. look at her now!

ready ... set ... squam!

i'm going to squam! 

where?????

squam. don't you just love the sound of it? it almost sounds like a native american placename in oregon. but it's far far away from the pacific northwest.

squam is a lake in upstate new hampshire. since the turn-of-the-century, there have been cabins on this lake, surrounded by forests and fields. the camp is named rockywold-deephaven. don't you just love the sound of that????

and there i will listen to the loons, meet new friends, and soak up the creative ambiance surrounding the squam art workshops. that's what the website says. 

but i know, I KNOW, that it will be all that and much, much more. i've already spoken with the sweet strong soul who created the whole thing, elizabeth maccrellish, and i know these five days will be magic. she certainly is. 

anyway, i'm packing hoodies and hats, all my art materials for my classes (book in a day, make your own journal and sketchbook explorations), printing and scanning and copying photos photos photos, etc etc etc. the house is a disaster, UN DESASTRE!, packing projects and piles all around. which makes me absolutely insane. i have a hard enough time getting out the door (i think it's called "separation anxiety", pretty rough for someone who likes to travel as much as i do!). but as the piles get packed up in neat boxes and bags, the anxiety diffuses like the morning fog. 

and i have another special person i'm seeing right before heading to squam. more on that later.

northern cali and southward home (hill)

road trip days 13-16: norcal coast - home (mill valley)

we finally slowed down the pace. instead of doing 6-8 hours of driving, we did 2 or 3 or 4. got to spend more time walking, shooting and on our starbucks sessions to upload our photos to picture summer. i remembered that i'm insanely in love with meadows. all those little grasses mixed together creating the perfect imaginary playland ... just like when i was a young girl, i imagine i'm thumbelina-sized, walking through the forest of GIANT trees (of knee-high grasses). sublime. even in the presence of a whole herd of elk, i felt the tug to snuggle into the opposite meadow -- sans elk -- but with the most magnificent display of feathery grasses and plants ... grasses, elk, grasses, elk ... for me it was clear ... grasses. but cynthia loved the elk. she wants to be a wildlife photographer in africa when she grows up.







my trusty van waited for us patiently (she finally got a name on this trip: mojo) between the meadows, grasses to the right, elk to the left.



later we found a great campsite on the banks of the klamath river close to its confluence with the pacific. the morning was deliciously foggy (home sweet home). cynthia REALLY wanted to see another bear, and in the morning we heard there had been one the previous evening playing on someone's tent. we must've been making dinner ... sheesh! but rumor had it there was a bear who swam across the river many mornings, so we sat in these chairs and waited, alas no bear.

our assignment that day was to photograph "wind".



we eventually wound our way down the avenue of the giants and burst out to the coast above mendocino. the coast! getting closer to home!



no bears but a great hillside of goats.



you old goat! (what do you think they were saying to one another?)



ended up in sonoma for lunch. our assignment that day was "light". this fork photo ended up being featured on the picture summer site! a lovely end to our trip.



cynthia flew back to australia after a few serious days of shopping: aveda, yoga mats, juicy, neoprene wine bags, etc etc etc. she is now officially my special shutter sister. it's hard to believe she just started photographing during our road trip. she has the gift! our last assignment of july was to create a photo garland of all the picture summer photos.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

road trip epilogue:

all in all, we travelled over 3500 miles in 16 days!

we experienced: yosemite granite, a bear, photo galleries, a las vegas show, the inside of a helicopter inside the grand canyon, red rocks at zion, deer, geological history, stone arches, friends, sushi bars, organic grocery stores, rock shops, big skies, campgrounds, sweaty shirts, maps, snacks of blueberries and walnuts and carrots (ate primal -- no gas station junk food -- the whole way), too many gas station restrooms, starbucks in every state, family, lizards, brand new guest beds, poached eggs, microbrewed beer, bbqs, more friends, kids, rivers, dogs (we both missed ours tremendously so had to pet each and every dog we came across), dusty cameras, photoshop, oregon green, an old boyfriend, giant sequoias, goats, the pacific, seals, fine restaurants, finer wine.

and so much of road trips happen inside the car. we talked the entire time. had brought 7 books on tape which we did not even listen to. we had 7 years to catch up on! shared music, stories, tears, the love of photography, laughs, insights. we rekindled a deep friendship. cynthia is 10 years younger than me, and she's like a sister, but not a younger sister. just a sister. i learned so much from her. strength. beauty. generosity. efficiency. love.

national parks, here we come! (hill)

road trip day 4: zion np - moab/arches np

the hot utah desert inspired us to get up early (at "sparrow's fart" in aussie speak) to beat the heat and hike around zion. after just a few days, we realized this was a photo safari, not really a strenuous hiking trip. hiking is great and all, but walking with a photographer's eye slows everything down: walk, stop, shoot, this angle and that, this lens and that, walk back for different angle, until visual satisfaction is felt. walk, stop, you get the picture. not much walking but tons of great photos and the joy that brings. then drive during the hottest part of the day, loving the aircon!, to see 4th of july fireworks over zion.









~~~~~~~~~

road trip day 5: arches np - boulder

arches in the am ...







then, after driving the WRONG WAY for an hour in the am, chatty cathys that we were, making it an 8hr drive instead of a 6hr drive ...

boulder is best! not only is my "sister" artist friend sue there, but she's now married to an awesome aussie man, so he and cynthia could talk aussie all day long without us understanding what they were saying. sure, it's all english, but those aussies, they change it all up and who knows WHAT they're saying! fortunately i can understand sue, even though she speaks a mile a minute ... all that energy cooped up in one being has to come out somehow. love ya sue! we picnic'd, joked through an entire outdoor concert (yeah, we were the annoying ones this time), shopped (boulder is GREAT for shopping), hiked a bit, visited naropa and c.u. so cynthia could see if she wanted to do grad work there (nope), did laundry, and generally had a great time. sue and cynthia think i should live in boulder ...

road trip! (hill)

when i was younger, i wanted to do a stint in the peace corps and i wanted to work at club med. big plans. well,  i did work at club med lindeman island on an exclusive island inside the great barrier reef in queensland, australia. (does this mean i'm shallow?) miracle of miracles ... somehow, i wrangled myself into a job as a tennis instructor. i hope you can imagine the goodness of an experience like this ... champagne at sunset on the 8th hole of the golf course overlooking the blue blue water,

running on the wooded trails unsettling swarms of butterflies, being silly (it's in the job description) to get the guests to cast off their city-selves and loosen up ... the list goes on. we did work insane hours keeping the gms happy ... it was like hosting a 6-month-long barbeque.

the best thing that came from my time there was cynthia brown. she's part of a well-known wine-growing family outside melbourne, she had a serious job in the village in the human resources office, and she was my roommate. besides the wine she generously shared with me, and her willingness to have double slumber parties (don't let your imagination get too carried away!), she was a wonderful roommate and we've been friends ever since.

well guess who's coming to road trip with me ... cynthia!

we're taking the vw van for a spin on july 1 (to see my 2003 spin, see escape artistry). destination: yosemite, las vegas, grand canyon, zion np, moab, boulder, salt lake city, portland, oregon and california coasts, and everything in between. all in 16 days. whew!

cynthia has been wanting to take up photography, so she's now well-equipped and ready to rumble. our road trip may be a photo safari of sorts. we've both signed up to participate in picture summer and will be learning more about photography and sharing our images along the way. how are you picturing your summer?



internet access depending, i will be blogging in periodically ... stay tuned!

world cup fever forever ... (hill)

back in the day ... 1994 fifa world cup usa, pasadena, ca ... someday let me tell you the story of how i got this final moment photo ...



this was easier ...



this was the fun part! sitting right next to a sports illustrated photographer ...

pansies, a tale of metamorphosis (hill)

[gallery]

i keep telling myself to STOP photographing flowers! stop it! it seems their colorful faces are all i see these days. i head out walking miss daisey around the neighborhood, camera in tow, and i say "no flowers today." i try, i do. i try to find fences or architecture or sky or signposts or chairs or something, anything other than flowers. but their colors and delicateness keep luring me back!

funny, i used to be a damn competitive, swashbuckling photojournalist. and i used to think that photographers who photographed flowers were pansies! i used to photograph politicians and world cup soccer and wildfires and gang members and city council meetings and crime scenes and the grand prix and dead bodies and once in a rare while a sunset. DEFINITELY NOT FLOWERS. i was 25, and even 35, and i loved it all! some scenes were horrible, blood and brains splattered on the sidewalk -- now it churns my stomach to even write those words -- but it was so exciting and different every day.

these days, you won't catch me anywhere near the news. i'm allergic. don't watch it, don't read it, don't want any part of it. i hear about the big things in conversations or from oprah! oil spill? earthquake? stockmarket? today i'm happy to say that i am a peaceful ostrich.

so now i photograph flowers, which brings me tranquility and wonder at the amazing, mystical world of mother nature. and it's exciting and different every day.

oh, and i did photograph some faces of friends recently, just to change it up a bit.









do you have any suggestions of gentle, beautiful photographic subjects that i could add to my repertoire? would love to hear your ideas ...

i am love (hill)

JOURNEY HOME

The time that my journey takes is long and the way of it long.

I came out on the chariot of the first gleam of light, and pursued my
voyage through the wildernesses of worlds leaving my track on many a star and planet.

It is the most distant course that comes nearest to thyself,
and that training is the most intricate which leads to the utter simplicity of a tune.

The traveler has to knock at every alien door to come to his own,
and one has to wander through all the outer worlds to reach the innermost shrine at the end.

My eyes strayed far and wide before I shut them and said `Here art thou!'

The question and the cry `Oh, where?' melt into tears of a thousand
streams and deluge the world with the flood of the assurance `I am!'

~ Rabindranath Tagore



so while i have been venturing about here and there and everywhere -- travelling; holed up in my house; starting a business; stopping a business; meditating; on the kitchen floor; india x3; etc etc etc -- i have much more of a sense of my inner Self. and along the way i rediscovered photography, my lifetime love that i abandoned 13 years ago when i left my job as a photojournalist and when my dad married a photographer. i didn't want to compete anymore ... with other photojournalists, nor with my stepmother. so i stopped. this summer i started again, working on a film set in france and spain, and am officially in love again. happy valentine's day!

how do i love thee? (hill)

not the smoothest of days: woke to cat puke, made coffee (love the smell) and drank it (makes me crazy), decided to drop a class (which p had rearranged her schedule around with much difficulty, thus my severe guilt), needed to provide proof of student status for my student-version software but my computer decided to punish me for waiting til the last minute and crashed hard, couldn't find a suitable poem to scribe for my calligraphy homework since we still only know 15 letters and all the poems wanted an r or an l so tried to write my own poem and ran out of time, took my computer in but had to wait for an appointment so missed calligraphy anyway, computer seemed to magically right itself (i think it's a hypochondriac!) ... and amidst all this chaos (usually my days are much much smoother), i took miss daisey and my camera for a walk and saw SO MUCH BEAUTY. my camera offers me solace, helps me see Nature, and points me towards peace. o canon, how do i love thee, let me count the ways ...