northern cali and southward home (hill)

road trip days 13-16: norcal coast - home (mill valley)

we finally slowed down the pace. instead of doing 6-8 hours of driving, we did 2 or 3 or 4. got to spend more time walking, shooting and on our starbucks sessions to upload our photos to picture summer. i remembered that i'm insanely in love with meadows. all those little grasses mixed together creating the perfect imaginary playland ... just like when i was a young girl, i imagine i'm thumbelina-sized, walking through the forest of GIANT trees (of knee-high grasses). sublime. even in the presence of a whole herd of elk, i felt the tug to snuggle into the opposite meadow -- sans elk -- but with the most magnificent display of feathery grasses and plants ... grasses, elk, grasses, elk ... for me it was clear ... grasses. but cynthia loved the elk. she wants to be a wildlife photographer in africa when she grows up.







my trusty van waited for us patiently (she finally got a name on this trip: mojo) between the meadows, grasses to the right, elk to the left.



later we found a great campsite on the banks of the klamath river close to its confluence with the pacific. the morning was deliciously foggy (home sweet home). cynthia REALLY wanted to see another bear, and in the morning we heard there had been one the previous evening playing on someone's tent. we must've been making dinner ... sheesh! but rumor had it there was a bear who swam across the river many mornings, so we sat in these chairs and waited, alas no bear.

 


our assignment that day was to photograph "wind".



we eventually wound our way down the avenue of the giants and burst out to the coast above mendocino. the coast! getting closer to home!



no bears but a great hillside of goats.



you old goat! (what do you think they were saying to one another?)



ended up in sonoma for lunch. our assignment that day was "light". this fork photo ended up being featured on the picture summer site! a lovely end to our trip.



cynthia flew back to australia after a few serious days of shopping: aveda, yoga mats, juicy, neoprene wine bags, etc etc etc. she is now officially my special shutter sister. it's hard to believe she just started photographing during our road trip. she has the gift! our last assignment of july was to create a photo garland of all the picture summer photos.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

road trip epilogue:

all in all, we travelled over 3500 miles in 16 days!

we experienced: yosemite granite, a bear, photo galleries, a las vegas show, the inside of a helicopter inside the grand canyon, red rocks at zion, deer, geological history, stone arches, friends, sushi bars, organic grocery stores, rock shops, big skies, campgrounds, sweaty shirts, maps, snacks of blueberries and walnuts and carrots (ate primal -- no gas station junk food -- the whole way), too many gas station restrooms, starbucks in every state, family, lizards, brand new guest beds, poached eggs, microbrewed beer, bbqs, more friends, kids, rivers, dogs (we both missed ours tremendously so had to pet each and every dog we came across), dusty cameras, photoshop, oregon green, an old boyfriend, giant sequoias, goats, the pacific, seals, fine restaurants, finer wine.

and so much of road trips happen inside the car. we talked the entire time. had brought 7 books on tape which we did not even listen to. we had 7 years to catch up on! shared music, stories, tears, the love of photography, laughs, insights. we rekindled a deep friendship. cynthia is 10 years younger than me, and she's like a sister, but not a younger sister. just a sister. i learned so much from her. strength. beauty. generosity. efficiency. love.

i planted! (hill)



i joined the ranks of gardeners today. i planted!

old boyfriend curt (he prefers "ex-luvvah") came for memorial day bearing gifts, including herbs to establish my new herb garden. he also bought pots, soil, and flowers to brighten it all (impatiens ... wonder what that means). and instead of planting them for me, he wanted me to do it so i could gain the benefits of working with the earth.

i had a garden the first year in my house about 12 years ago ... but the cats also "enjoyed" the garden, and the cucumbers turned out bitter, and i figured the taste was from the cats. and never planted a garden again. gross!

recently i learned that cucumbers are bitter for many reasons, and thought perhaps i should reconsider gardening (and have a serious talk with my cats). then curt arrived laden with plastic pots with greens spilling from a cardboard box.

old love. new garden. nice.





memorable memorial day (hill)

[gallery columns="5"]

memorial day 2010:

old boyfriend in town ...

quaint mill valley parade

gg bridge crossing on a perrrrrrfect day in the bay, even if we did lock our bikes outside the warming hut and forgot the key!

flag on porch

city island: must see

sharing secrets

neighbors, friends, community

requisite memday bbq

ahhhhhhhh summer

relocation narration 2 (hill)

[i hate to bump jamie o off of the top of the page, but life goes on ... ]



so it's official: my brother and family moved to utah ... they are soooooooo happy in their new home! (cantchya tell?!)

but it was a HELLACIOUS move including:

- 2 moving vans

- 1 pickup truck

- 1 suv

- 2 trailers

- 5 people

- 3 dogs

- 1 cat

i helped with the packing up for several days and thought i was going to be waving them and their caravan goodbye on the wednesday. but by wednesday night, they realized they had more stuff than their moving van could accommodate. alan would have to come back, almost immediately, to get the rest of their things. or ...

thursday morning i offered to cancel my appointments and weekend plans, find a petsitter, get a return flight home, and drive a second moving van to utah ... and get to spend a few more days with my family.

since their beds were packed, they all spent the night at my house on thursday night. friday morning i realized -- fortunately! -- that i needed to take daisey to the vet for her flying papers. so we all headed to the vet, then up to their rental house to pack up the rest and get going. it took ALL DAY. we didn't depart until 8:36pm, and of course there was the requisite last visit to the local starbucks, so we didn't really hit the road until 9:24pm. made it to auburn.



we were quite the convoy: alan leading the way in the biggest moving van he could rent, towing their car; andrew, 20, following with his cat leelu and william, 15, in their pickup truck loaded with motorcycles & bicycles; olivia driving their suv with lab leo and little mutt max in the backseat towing a trailer; and me bringing up the rear in the second, smaller moving van with my furry friend daisey. oof! woof!

we drove 10 hours the next day on what has to be the most boring, godawful piece of landscape in the world. reno. winnemucca. battle mountain. what do people do out here? at 7pm we stopped in elko, nv for more starbucks (the other kind of fuel).

they wanted to go another two hours to wendover. i called uncle. i was done. cooked. finito. we stayed in a hotel with casino attached -- in which they still allow smoking (!) -- smuggling the animals into the hotel rooms once again. andrew is highly affected by cigarette smoke, and even his non-smoking room was unbearable, so he slunk off to sleep in the suv in the cold ... my nephew slept in the car while the animals had room service!



princess daisey mae is an intrepid traveller (she's even been to france). during the drive, she didn't want to miss a piece of the action, and there wasn't much action but for the NOISE of the engine that even the am radio could not din ... she kept falling asleep sitting up, with her head resting on the seatbelt ...

our gas/coffee/food/pee breaks were the excitement of the day and, with 5 people and 3 dogs, kept us busy. no wonder it took so long!

on the third day, we were actually getting closer to salt lake city. and then, we blessedly turned off of hwy 80 (NEVER again). and onto the road to their new home. up, up, up we climbed toward the spectacular wasatch mountains.



somehow, we made it. oof and woof again! an arduous journey with a pot of gold at the end. they are so pleased with the new house -- the space, the rooms, the kitchen!, the new neighborhood, the views, snowbird just 25 minutes away. it had taken us so much longer than expected that i'd changed my flight to the next day. we unloaded the trailer and smaller van but the beds were in the monster truck that we couldn't get into 'til the next day. so we camped out on the living room floor.

monday the troops descended to help unload. olivia's brother, his son, alan's school pal scott and wife suzanne and her brother. and this is why alan and olivia and andrew and william moved to utah: family,  friends, natural beauty, and realistic real estate prices. my wish for them is a very happy new life!

but i miss them already, sometimes with an ache in the heart, sometimes it's as if i'm on the top of a ferris wheel and there's nothing but air beneath my feet.

the troops 

sam, dave and scott (l - r)

suzanne

andrew

william

i dream of jamie (hill)



yesterday i was feeling playful and posted on facebook "i kinda have a big crush on jamie oliver." i just LOVE him. he's bold, brazen, hardworking, charismatic, funny, making a difference, down to earth, and cute! lo and behold, jamie visited me in my dream last night ...

in my dream, i met jamie on the side of the road -- i was a new crew member or something. we met and he *saw* me, avatar style. as in, his essence saw my essence. his strength saw my strength. his vulnerability saw my vulnerability. his courage saw my courage. his heart saw my heart. i rode in his car for awhile and we got to know each other, joking and jabbering away to the next shoot. "i'll see you later," he said. later in the hotel lobby, we met and walked in the garden for hours. talked, laughed, played tag and teased like kids. he asked me how old i was, and i said, "i'm 29 ... and 18 ... and 7 ... and 45 ... and 98." he got it. and we just looked in each other's eyes, no need for words.

next day i rode my beach cruiser to his event at a swimming pool. i was early (in real life i'm never early). ran into his daughter's friend who loaned me his daughter's bikini, and somehow i looked great in it (the beauty of the dreamworld)! my entrance into the pool was from the high dive, an expansive swan dive ending with a tuck and a flip and a half with a graceful splash. (i was actually a child high diver ... a coach wanted to train me for the olympics until ear trouble became serious.) i swam and i swam, then jamie jumped in. swimming with jamie was like swimming with the dolphins, sheer joy.

in my dream we remained fast friends for a very long time because we really *saw* each other, listened to each other, and loved each other truly.

if it's true that all the characters in one's dream are the dreamer (psychology term = projection), then the message i take from this dream is to draw upon my "inner jamie oliver," the parts of myself that jamie represents to me: strength, capabilities, humor, wisdom, courage, will, charisma, boldness, gifts ...

thank you jamie, for all that you are, and for being my dreamtime friend. (ps - i'm eating my veggies!)

~~

btw, jamie won the one and only 2010 TED award. visionary, bold, inspiring. see him here:

http://www.ted.com/talks/jamie_oliver.html

http://www.jamieoliver.com/campaigns/jamies-food-revolution

Mother's Day (Meg)



I've been meaning to write about my mom for a long time but, as it probably is for most people, my relationship with my mother is so complex, so varied, and so intimate to me that it's almost impossible to step back and look at with clear eyes. One thing I know is that our relationship has undergone a radical shift in the past 10 years. As she ages, I take over more of the stereotypical parenting roles, and she becomes more child-like, although she's very sensitive to any attempt to do too much. So it's extra interesting that Hillary had to remind me today, as we were discussing the upcoming holiday, that I am a mother too. I'm pretty sure that for the rest of my life, when I think of Mother's Day, I'll first think of my mom, and not myself. And so I'm attempting to plan for the day, to celebrate the day, to help my mom enjoy the day to the fullest. The problem is that I have no idea what to do! Give me some ideas people, and I'll give you something back!

Give away: Before noon on Thursday, April 29th, 2010, leave a short comment telling us how you're celebrating or honoring your mom and you might be the lucky randomly selected person who wins a free eyechai greeting card set or print (your choice).

And just in case that celebration involves some gift giving, over at eyechai.bigcartel.com we're able to take greeting card and print orders for Mother's Day gift delivery (domestic only) until Sunday, May 2 at noon.

gratitude (hill)



thank you to all who have ordered *eyechai* card sets and prints.


thank you to all who have been reading our *eyechai* blog.


thank you to all who like our *eyechai* page on facebook.


thank you to all who have browsed our *eyechai* bigcartel shop.


thank you to all who have posted a comment on our *eyechai* blog.


thank you to all who have written on our *eyechai* facebook wall.


thank you to all of those who have yet to do any of these things.


thank you universe!


***********


i am grateful to have something beautiful to share with the world.


(the card bundles above are traveling all the way to israel.)


***********


how do you spread beauty and love out into the world?





a reason to celebrate (hill)



i know i said i don't celebrate holidays much, but i do celebrate -- inwardly -- tax day! this year, i dropped off my tax prep at my accountant's on april 7th. i know, not great. but better than some years. (i'll try harder next year, denis, i promise!)

they worked their magic and i picked the packets up on april 13th. mailed them off on april 14th with NO LINE at the post office!

my friendly local postal center inside of a beautiful gift shop is one of my favorite things in mill valley. the owner lisa always greets us warmly and by name, reminiscent of NORM! lisa lavishes daisey with caresses and little pieces of treats for daisey's little teeth, and invites daisey to come behind the counter, leash-free, to indulge her. and lisa always knows the best way to send everything. her shop is stocked tastefully with pretty stationery, coffee-table and inspirational books, jewelry, candles, lotions and potions, etc, with the postal section off to the side. the whole place exudes small town niceness.

two reasons to celebrate: getting my taxes mailed on time, and my happy little visits to lisa's lovely store: http://www.allwrappedup.com

Desire (Meg)



Lips so sweet and tender, like petals falling apart
-Bob Wills

Buddha said that to stop suffering all we need to do is stop desiring, but after 20 years of marriage, I'm not sure I agree with him. It seems to me that in many ways I suffer less when I desire. I'm pretty sure Chris suffers less too! But actually, I don't mean sexual desire necessarily, and I don't mean the "I saw it in Vanity Fair and I desire it" type of desire, but the desire and appetite for life that makes everything take on a special color, flavor and emotion. I remember my grandmother Marion, toward the end of her life, talking about how difficult it was to eat without any appetite. And I know that depression, for me, is a complete lack of engagement with the world around me, which seems to stem from lack of appetite for the things the world offers.

Michael Pollan, in his book, The Botany of Desire, has another take on desire, which I find mind-bending. He says that if you turn your head a certain way it's possible to see that plants are controlling us through our desire for beauty. Fruits and flowers are their way of enticing us to move them around, out of their initial habitat, and to contribute to a plant's spread around the world. Like women in a harem, whose choices were so supremely limited that they developed extreme manipulative techniques, plants, which can not move themselves, have enslaved us to their beauty. In other words, they've achieved world domination by being desirable to humans.

So here's to desire, and thank God for botany!

i love my accountant, but he doesn't love me (hill)



it is april 3rd ... have you done your taxes yet? i want to know; i'm taking a poll. i wonder what percentage of people get them done in january? february? march? and how many of us inevitably wait until april rolls around? and how many do them after april 15th?  i know, i know, i have not done my taxes yet. but i will get them done today! (or tomorrow! or maybe into next week! but i'll for sure get them done by april 10! i think the latest i ever went was april 13th. or 14th.) my accountant is a very nice man, and a great accountant. and he usually calls me in february reminding me to get my taxes done early. for naught. he didn't even call this year; maybe he's given up on me. every year i tell myself i'm going to get them done early, by end feb, just for his sake, just to help ease his pain, his april pain. but somehow it never happens. doing my taxes -- hell, i don't even really DO my taxes, i just fill out the tax organizer paperwork so he can actually prepare the taxes -- doesn't even actually take that long, when i sit down to it. two, maybe three hours. and i have a much clearer financial picture, which is actually a small comfort and joy. it's just the IDEA of doing taxes that i loathe. this is the crux of procrastinators, which is such a loaded term, with such a negative, bad person spin, so let's just call us 'laterbirds.' some people are born with a proclivity of earlybirdness; they arrive 10 minutes early, always. i was born with the opposite proclivity: i arrive 10 minutes late. and i'm going to do my taxes ... right after this cup of tea. what about you?

this morning, please let me be ... (hill)



this is daisey with her dreamy morning face on, after the initial morning excitement: just after hopping out of bed, scrambling down the stairs, heading straight for the backyard to do her business, jumping back in the kitchen and dancing and wagging and full-body-wiggling at the excitement of seeing ME, after having slept right by ME all night long. every morning, this is the great gift i receive from my little friend. joy at seeing ME. me? yes, me.

every morning i am taken aback by her love and devotion. and every morning, i pick her up, swaddle her with my arms and hold her to my chest just like a baby with her head leaning on my shoulder, and i sway and sing to her. silly songs i make up, all about daisey, sometimes repeats, sometimes new. later, as the morning unfolds, i often catch daisey sitting in the kitchen with a faraway look in her eyes, like she's remembering a dream.

even later when she fully wakes up, she follows me around the house now with a pleading look in her eyes until i take her out for her beloved walk. we have a morning route and an afternoon route and an evening route, and she knows which one we're doing and heads in the right direction, leading me. every morning trotting happily on her way, not even looking to cross the street, totally trusting that she is safe (and thus always leashed to her little harness), sniffing and piddling along our morning route. i consider it a successful walk when i have not pulled once on her leash, but let her take her sweet time, which happens more and more often these days.

reminds me of a sailing lesson i learned long ago, that when coming into the harbor, you can tell the experienced sailing crew from the novices because they're all doing the right things without having to shout at each other. daisey and i are like that in our quotidien routines, dancing and singing and walking along the sweet harbor of our life.
please let me be the person my dog thinks i am.

(great quote poster found on one of my favorite blogs, sfgirlbbybay).        http://www.sfgirlbybay.com/2010/02/10/how-much-for-that-doggie-in-the-window/

spring forward (hill)



well we just launched our little greeting card store yesterday, and today is my birthday, and it is the beginning of spring. good time for un debut. we may be debutantes in the card arena, but we are no spring chickens!

anyway, wanted to give a loud shout out to tina and nina! tina is one of my oldest and dearest friends. nina is one of my newest and on the other coast friends. somehow real friends always stay in touch, and time passed in between matters not.

tina and nina performed true friend gestures: they offered support and encouragement by being the first two to make purchases of our greeting cards! my heart was deeply touched by their gestures, and reminded me of something i learned from my dad.

my father was not one to say i love you until much later in life. but he was ALWAYS THERE for me. supporting by showing up, being physically there, at my games, performances, races, visiting me where ever i was living no matter in the usa or europe, making weekly walking dates, etc.

in the cyberworld, being there takes different forms. one form is actually suppporting by making the time to look at a friend's blog, new online store, and in this case, actually making a purchase, a physical being there in a great way.

thank you tina and nina for being there! and anyone else who happens to purchase, or make time to look or read, or better yet COMMENT! we appreciate it all very much.

when you put your heart out in the world, even in cyberspace, it feels good to know that that world, too, is a safe place, filled with friends and loved ones.

thank you.

sugar magnolia (hill)



magnificent magnolias. majestic magnolias. marvelous magnolias. merry magnolias. you get the idea. my neighborhood is bursting with magnolia blooms, and i see so many varieties on our daily dogwalks. and every time, they make me think of another beloved roommate of meg's and mine, laura. she and her hubbie's first dance at their wedding 20 years ago was ... sugar magnolia by the greatful dead. laura is the most straighlaced deadhead you'll ever meet, even nerdy in high school (you said so yourself, laurs!). so as i wander around, inhaling the saturated magnolia fuschias, pinks, and whites, and gaze at their beauty, i think of laura and hum along to myself and sometimes even out loud to daisey. this one's for you, laurs:





Sugar magnolia, blossoms blooming, head's all empty and I don't care,

Saw my baby down by the river, knew she'd have to come up soon for air.

Sweet blossom come on, under the willow, we can have high times if you'll abide
We can discover the wonders of nature, rolling in the rushes down by the riverside.

She's got everything delightful, she's got everything I need,
Takes the wheel when I'm seeing double, pays my ticket when I speed.

Well, she comes skimmin' through rays of violet, she can wade in a drop of dew,
She don't come and I don't follow, waits backstage while I sing to you.

Well, she can dance a Cajun rhythm, jump like a Willy's in four wheel drive.
She's a summer love in the spring, fall and winter. She can make happy any man alive.

Sugar magnolia, ringing that bluebell, caught up in sunlight, come on out singing
I'll walk you in the sunshine, come on honey, come along with me.

She's got everything delightful, she's got everything I need,
A breeze in the pines in the summer night moonlight, crazy in the sunlight yes indeed.

Sometimes when the cuckoo's crying, when the moon is half way down,
Sometimes when the night is dying, I take me out and I wander around, I wander 'round.

Sunshine, daydream, walking in the tall trees, going where the wind goes
Blooming like a red rose, breathing more freely,
Light out singin', I'll walk you in the morning sunshine
Sunshine, daydream. Sunshine, daydream. Walking in the sunshine.
     e---------------------2--x------------------------------|
a---------------------3--2------------------------------|
d--1/2--1/2-----------2--2--1/2--1/2--------------------|
g--1/2--1/2-----2--4--4--2--1/2--1/2--------2-----------|
b------------4--------0--0------------2--4-----4--2--0--|
E---------------------x--x------------------------------|
~ by the grateful dead

my brother, my self (hill)

my brother is moving. temporarily to a new house, just until the school year is over. then really  moving. out of state. far away. he is my only sibling, our parents are gone now. he is my ballast,  my roots, my oldest ally. we are different, and  also very, very similar.

so when it came time to move from their three-acre homestead containing precious belongings and equipment and tons of  old *stuff* which had rested peacefully for 20 years in two barns and one shed and one other outbuilding and the house and the little house ... it was a hefty job. moving house is an act of heroism.



after moving the house stuff carefully and tenderly came the dirty, dusty, spidery, rusty, boxes and boxes and containers from the barns, and the huge heavy awkward equipment and stoves and old motorcycles, etc ... backbreaking, footpounding, back and forth, over and over again.



load, tie down, drive, hoping the old vw bumper or grandma's sofa doesn't bounce off the trailer. unload, and "process":  into the new house, or organize as storage in the garage, or in the little shed in the yard, or dump. my sister-in-law was the  master of processing. man, that girl can organize!

two solid weeks of moving, squeaked out of the old house on deadline day. oof! somehow we managed to find the energy to celebrate my brother's birthday in the midst of it all. he can wrangle a tractor, and he likes strawberries and cream. that says everything you need to know about my brother. (and he also kinda looks like george clooney, though he always says "nawww.")



the best part of all this exertion? i got to see my brother, his wife, my nephews and nephew's girlfriend every day. we laughed. we teased. we swore. we stressed. we survived.



the new place. beautiful, especially in springtime. me and my brother? better than ever. everyone said, oh it's so nice of you to help your brother so  much. nice? it's not nice at all. he is my everything.












"No one could tell me where my Soul might be.


I searched for God, but God eluded me.


I sought my Brother out, and found all three."


~ Ernest Crosby

i am your valentine (hill)



i think st francis of assisi's prayer is especially meaningful today, valentine's day. especially the part about loving rather than being loved. we often think we want/need to be loved, admired, heard, understood, etc. and we expect others to "give" these things to us, and we are disappointed when they don't. we don't always leave people free to do or not do these things, and often manipulate them into making us feel better. i'm trying to do less expecting and more feeling love/d all by myself, thus allowing other people be FREE to LOVE and understand me, or not. i can choose to love and understand others regardless of what they choose to do. grant that i may not so much seek to be loved as to love. let me ask not "will you be my valentine?" instead, let me say, "I am your valentine."

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, your pardon Lord;
and where there's doubt, true faith in you;
O Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
~ st francis of assisi

i am love (hill)

JOURNEY HOME

The time that my journey takes is long and the way of it long.

I came out on the chariot of the first gleam of light, and pursued my
voyage through the wildernesses of worlds leaving my track on many a star and planet.

It is the most distant course that comes nearest to thyself,
and that training is the most intricate which leads to the utter simplicity of a tune.

The traveler has to knock at every alien door to come to his own,
and one has to wander through all the outer worlds to reach the innermost shrine at the end.

My eyes strayed far and wide before I shut them and said `Here art thou!'

The question and the cry `Oh, where?' melt into tears of a thousand
streams and deluge the world with the flood of the assurance `I am!'

~ Rabindranath Tagore



so while i have been venturing about here and there and everywhere -- travelling; holed up in my house; starting a business; stopping a business; meditating; on the kitchen floor; india x3; etc etc etc -- i have much more of a sense of my inner Self. and along the way i rediscovered photography, my lifetime love that i abandoned 13 years ago when i left my job as a photojournalist and when my dad married a photographer. i didn't want to compete anymore ... with other photojournalists, nor with my stepmother. so i stopped. this summer i started again, working on a film set in france and spain, and am officially in love again. happy valentine's day!