38/365: needs

it's february, and it hadn't rained in weeks until last night. even after this recent deluge, we are still well below what we need. 

apparently S + D also have needs. it looks as though they need each other. 

i'm learning that it's ok to need. to need love. to need to be loved. it's ok to acknowledge this need to myself. it's also ok to say it out loud. speaking words out loud makes any shame slip off the letters and fall to the wayside. 

i need love. I NEED LOVE! OK?

36/365: my sky

i love what he wrote about my sky!

 

Your sky

The ocean sky echos its temper,

Grey when stormy,

Blue when calm.

 

The mountains' skyline, 

brings out their magnificence,

elicits their splendor.

 

Your sky faithfully reflects you,

Well organized in squares, 

with all that softness 

and beauty inside.

32/365: still falling

i walk around these days, my feet not quite on the ground. i see the ground, i even see my feet on the ground. i see seeds and plants and petals fallen on the ground. but i? i am mid-air. it feels good to be suspended this way, not quite sure what will happen next, but willing to let myself go all the way, wherever this lovely breeze shall take me. i have given in to Life, i am not even trying to control it. sometimes, when i get scared, i try a little bit to control. but i quickly realize that i am not in the driver's seat, and i let go again. trusting. trusting Life. 

and i know, as i even told a complete stranger the other day, i can do this, because i KNOW that i can take care of myself. i am fine. i will be just fine. no matter what happens. i am fine. 

and so i let myself fall, love ... happily, easily, fully. 

30/365: the second one

i am out of the loop on what MOBS means ... but it rhymes with gobs. and that's how much love i feel from my friend-since-15 danielle. she gave me a gorgeous, solid, heavy silver pendant for my big birthday last year. which i loved more than any jewelry i've had in ages. then a month or so ago, i lost it. 

danielle was leaving the city with the jewelry store, and moving to argentina. i asked her if she could get me another one, since i loved it so much, and i'd of course pay her back. or pay the store directly. 

she would have none of it. she didn't want to punish me for losing the necklace. and she oh so generously BOUGHT ME ANOTHER ONE! i could hardly believe it. that's the kind of gesture a mom makes, not a friend. but she said she learned from having gotten in trouble as a kid for losing things, that she never wanted to make others feel badly in that way. so she got me a new one, and mailed it to me. and i wear it every day just like the one before.

but this one means even more to me than the first one did. a symbol of how great love can be, between dear friends.