17/365: trust

i'm being told i can trust my open heart. hell, i tell other people that all the time! 

but when it actually comes down to it ... it is not as easy as it sounds. 

we have all been hurt. and we don't want to hurt others.

so we close. close our hearts. to protect ourselves.

but when we shut down this most important energy source, we shut off ourselves and others and the whole world from this vital, creative, joyful and free energy which has the ultimate power to salve and heal those hurt places inside.

so, i keep watching myself. oh, just there, i closed my heart! or oh, last night, i was afraid ... and consciously reopen. speak and act from my heart, again and again. this is my current learning, and my current practice. and, my current healing.