Lightness of Being
In case you haven’t seen or heard from me much these past many months, this is why … I’ve been preparing for my dreams to come true!
October:
Returned home after 6 months in Provence spent looking for my next home which I found, and which is even more exquisite than I had imagined! Original plan was to spend half the year in France and half the year in Mill Valley, CA, where I’d lived most of my life. But after several months in Provence of increasing peace, ease, and contentedness, I realized I would be moving to France for good.
One week after returning from France, my realtor suggested it was a good time to sell my home of 22 years. Indeed it was.
Prepped the house for sale in two weeks. Somehow worked with the realtors and renter for painting, staging, repairing, cleaning, ordering and installing new light fixtures. House shown off-market for 10 days.
November:
Sold my home, remarkably in an all cash, no contingencies, ONE-WEEK close.
Thus had ONE WEEK to empty my garage filled with a lifetime of memorabilia. Called 1-800-GOT-JUNK to remove almost everything: kindergarten artwork, report cards, college essays, love letters, my professional photography portfolios, paintings, swimming medals, all the things I’d thought important enough to save all these years.
Packed about 20 boxes to ship to France containing a few family photos, artwork, craft supplies, family silver and china.
Sobbed as I set my house keys on the kitchen counter for the last time. Walked though every room saying goodbye and thank you for all the memories. And then shut the door behind me.
December
Three weeks of recovery from elective cosmetic surgery to remove extra skin from considerable weight gain/loss. Very pleased with the results.
January
Two-week colon (and psyche and spirit) cleanse as a new-year/new-decade/new-life refresh. Massive parasites emerged, better out than in. Feeling great.
The first draft of this post disappeared when my laptop died. (No, it wasn’t backed up. Shut up.)
France house finally closed six months after making my offer. Happy girl!
Visa appointment. Nerve wracking. Vitally important to be able to live in France full-time.
February
Received Long-Stay Visa for France, one year. Will need to reapply each year for five years before becoming a citizen of France, including more massive paperwork of which the French are so fond.
After weeks of preparing my beloved Eurovan camper to ship to France, I realized it would be impossible. Sold in one week to friends of my cousin who absolutely love it. I plan to buy another camper in France because I LOVE CAMPING IN FRANCE!
Packed the rest of my stuff for a 20’ shipping container. Filled out many forms and inventory lists with values of every item. Much back and forth, revising and editing. Oof!
Got all my affairs in order: banking, legal, taxes, insurance, medical, and cancelled all memberships and utilities. Each required *many more* than just one call/meeting/email. Imagine disentangling from every single thing in your life.
Would rather be hiking or swimming or laughing with friends. Anything but doing more admin. All I’ve been doing is ADMIN for the last five months. Grrrrrr.
Flew to Salt Lake City to see my brother and family since it may be a long time before I see them again. Important.
Caught a bad cold on my way home from Utah. Then laryngitis. And sliced my finger removing art from a frame to roll up in a tube for packing. All of which really cramped my moving efforts.
Packed 4 enormous duffel bags and 3 enormous suitcases to bring on airplane.
Ordered mattresses for my France house so I won’t be sleeping on the floor. US credit card denied so my French friend ordered them for me.
Sold my car.
Organized plane ticket for my dear friend and interior design whiz Caroline who’ll arrive a few weeks after me to help me shop for furniture and design the kitchen. Couldn’t do it without her!
Squeezed in bittersweet bon voyage gatherings. The joy, the tears, the love. So damn lucky.
March
Moved to France!
Into the Future
I’m not at all sure what my life in Provence will hold for me, but I’m hoping it will include:
Starting my biodynamic vegetable and flower garden. Thrilled at the prospect of growing old while being outdoors, in nature, moving my body, being healthy, and helping the health of the land, the community, and the planet. I have wanted this for such. a. long. time.
Finding a way to be part of my new community: Volunteer work? Join the chorus? Start a regular photo walk in town, a book club, a pétanque group? English lessons? Start a non-profit? TBD.
Strengthening my relationships and friendships with my French friends/family and developing new ones — which I am fully aware are vitally important for a happy and full life.
Reflections
Moving countries is not easy; these past many months have been some of the most challenging of my life, with several meltdowns and near panic-attacks and pressure like someone was standing on my chest.
And it’s an enormous sacrifice to move so far away from everything and everyone I know and care about. Yet I feel a welcome, happy lightness of being.
My luggage may be heavy with clothes and shoes, towels and bedding, jewelry and important papers. But my heart is light with the invisible energies of friendship, connection, experience and wisdom gained through life’s ups and downs, and courage from feeling so loved.
Merci et bisous.
